Which is more important marriage or career?
Whenever I call my married friends especially female, they always have long list of problems of married life. One common complain of each female is sacrifice of career coz of marriage. They say we were better before marriage, there is no benefit of getting married.
So my point is which is more important marriage or career?
So why not just get a divorce and have a mutual separation? The 'No hard feelings' type. Do the thing and move on. Humans have a pretty short natural lifespan for a dominating species so people should just get things done quickly rather than wasting time in complaining. They should ask if their husbands feel the same. You'll be surprised they may feel the same, but probably keeping their mouth shut for many reasons. Being in a relationship where you feel stifled- man or woman- is of no use. I am assuming that aunty does have a qualification to get a job and become self-sustaining, so other than the initial period it should be much better. Or live separately without divorce, do their thing as well. How hard is it to get things done in this day of age? Especially one qualifies on paper to get a job? These days I see both parties getting a job and working to bring a good income at home as much as possible, and hiring someone to take care of the house by staying 24/7. Same with my neighbour. At some point in the near future, time will come where both parties have to work to bring income at home.
Either one stops complaining about it or do something about it. Everybody makes compromises at a certain point in their lives, even if you keep aside marriage. But if someone feels it's a one-way track, its best to end it then and there. You live. They live. Everyone goes home. Not happy, but at least they have a shot in going back to the right track. Assuming the reason for feeling like that is not because of the other guy, it's not fair for that person too. The essence of relationships starts to rust and crack eventually. Would you rather wait for that? Especially when you start getting kids and they become matured? Because when that happens, kids get involved too. And that's not cool.
Besides, many people have done this irrespective of male/female. Some regret it even though they achieved something out of it, some regret because it was a waste and ruined a relationship which later looked as healthy. Some don't regret it- irrespective of the results. Whatever one does- male or female- if one regrets doing something which they felt later that they shouldn't- they're stupid. Regrets are for those who made a decision based on insecurity rather than their own free will to do so. Living separately and achieving a career is also not a pretty good solution.
This is why kids needs to start being upfront with their parents about their marriage. They should be married because they want to be rather than because they have to. But if they did thinking that its for their parents, that individual is stupid. That other person's life becomes attached with you, and if the relationship buckles, the other person suffers too. Nothing is easier said than done, but complaining about it and doing anything is stupid.
everything is entwined in Indian culture.
what on earth is indian culture? what is practiced in your house may not be practiced in mine...so how will it be indian culture?
rio...this whole thingy of indian culture is bit crap....india is too diverse in its practices....you know there are many communities in south where its okay for uncle n neice to marry....but in north its unthinkable fyi...i dont want to start any north south debate or rift....but just making a point....same way in places like meghalaya,...its matriachal society where man moves into brides home unlike other places....so lets not talk this elusive indian culture...where you'll find many differences in practices
The thing about culture is that it evolves according to people and its lifestyle. So...
Okay, being social animals, we tend to live in the society that comprises of millions of other 'social animals' like us. Now the society we live in, already has a hundred of things to stop us from doing what we please. Even the society controls whether we want to live on or die, so what's the point of blaming the institution of marriage alone? It's a personal matter of two adults, and whether one wants the other to give up their current life and start a new one with them, or both do that. who are we to interfere and influence that?
I have come across a number of bloggers, I am talking about male bloggers, who, against the norms of the society, have gone on to do the tasks, a woman, is traditionally expected to do. And they are proud of it, and I too am, seeing them living by their own rules.
A lot of things happen because the society wants them to happen. Those who don't like that happening, may choose to go against the society. A classic example is the trending LGBT discussion, that's being accepted by societies throughout the world.
Oh, I'm almost graduating from college, and this question does haunt me! But I believe, as long as one is doing what they love to do, as a career, and being married with someone who supports you, whom you support too; with whom you work as a team, that's what matters!
I would say get married only if you feel like and even after marriage never force yourself to give up on your dreams ,coz its a hard fact of life,everyone wants to make themselves happy.If you are not happy ,you can never keep others happy.You have only one life,live the way you want to but at the same time give space to your betterhalf to do the same.Keep a balance and you will be able to enjoy both your marriage and your career.But to some extent i believe that this is possible in india only when you stay alone with your hubby.This kind of senario is not possible in a joint family in india till now in most places.
Why should a woman face such a situation? And if a husband and in-laws aren't supportive, maybe she should quit for a year and blow all their money away. Go shop, travel and eat until her husband is nearly bankrupt. That should teach them a lesson
And provided the woman actually wants to have a career.
how many people who posted here are married??
Sign in to reply to this thread