post creation from answers.
I wish to create a post with support of you all, friends on marriagebook. Write below what quality you look for in your husbad/wife. Bachelor's too can participate with their views on future arena.
All answers will take form of a blogpost, with links to their blogs at my google pr.2 blog, marriage book.
In my opinion, expectation is the root cause of all disappointment - It is best to accept and appreciate people as they are.
Given that, if you are going to have an arranged marriage and you are going to have to choose from a pool, some of the things one can look at is:-
1. Someone who can understand and appreciate your core values.
2. Someone who is logical and can be engaged in an open dialogue when taking decisions.
3. Someone for who you feel respect for as a person. Theoretically one can say everyone should respect everyone else. But we are human and we have preujudices and egos. So you start with thinking someone is inferior, it is going to reflect in your behavior and you end up in conflict.
4. Someone who is not too proud or egositic - due to education/career or dad's financial position or physical appearance.
Gah! Late to post an opinion.
Hmm, I actually wanted to post on such a topic, coming through as a consequence of the Compatibility Issues I'm pulled or repelled by; but then just like most topics, it sank in the corners of my mental conscience.
My notion of love is the way I apply butter to my toast - Generous Heaps and dripping, with additional side-effects. [Metaphor: Butter is to Cholesterol as Love is to Being taken for granted].
My compatibility with a person goes hand-in-hand with my own rendion of my own personality. I'm a perpetual underminer who has varied layers depending on situations. I consider myself a Human, irrespective of religion or nationality, perceptive to making flaws. And I can sideline major dips in my life scenarios in the form of disappointments, depressions, and anger behind sarcastic humor, Facebook outrages and/or occasional straight face.
I'd want my woman to be an endless ocean of support; who, if encourages disclosure of problematic encouncters, should be far from judgmental, should manage to appreciate my honesty and courage, and then, utilize that very ocean of support to stick with me. If I do manage to find someone absolutely opposite to me in matters of physical aspects like TV Shows, Political/Religious Views or even if she argues with me over who is better than Sachin Tendulkar as a batsman, I'd still manage to live with every such issue. But I would still seek some sorta similarity on Temperament, Ideology, Wit, Listening Capability, Memory, and ability to indulge in and handle logical discussions.
I have a notion for the kind of woman my attention attracts to, and until recent time, that notion was safeguarded and blindly followed. That very notion has now been transformed into an ever-adapting, far more complex procedure. Gah! I'm gonna die alone. :P
Hey there RIO,I hope I am not lateWhat I will look for in my guy:1. Nature (Caring,Understanding,Humility)2. Some one who will consider me equal and disagree with gender bias thereby both of us contributing to every aspect of our future3. Accept me as what i am both my positives and negatives (Ofcourse I have to do the same for him)
Good post
@ Anunoy it's not hot + cold = neutral. It's hot + cold = steam. lol...
Whew!
It's been a year now.
I got mine. He loves me truely. Nothing other matters to me. I am cool and he is hot !
phirto room temperature me a jaoge aap log.... i mean hot+cold=neutral temperature [strange!]
@Indu good for you. BTW how long have you been married?
I thought that I'll have to stay awake the whole night to come up with an answer. But then, I remembered a scene from a Telugu movie. The heroine ( already married to some other person ) asks the hero about his plans for marriage. He replies saying that it should happen all by itself. You can't marry a girl just because the stars have matched or that you are being given a handsome dowry. The same thing for me. It should happen. What I think is the perfect quality today may not be so tomorrow. When you find yourself in unconditional love with a person, then you already have a good match. Anything may happen in the future and your preferences may change. But the marriage remains successful.
P.S. Part of the second half of the above paragraph is from another Telugu movie. But I too have the same opinion.
what a deep philosophy in such a tender age [salute you rajni anna]
philosophy inspired from telugu movie....masala dosa to that
All the best @Ranjith.
With osteoporosis (wrong spelling may be)?
noooooooooo.... that is reserved for retro guys... [grrrrr...]
ROFL
Now, I wish i had paid attention to @Avadhoot's tutorial on smileys and knew the one where one rolls on the ground laughing. I would have totally used it here and saved all these words.
Trying just now. =))
madhu why don't you try to give words to your expression and put them in a bracket... it's quite satisfying... really! [I'm the guarantee wala smile]
@Ranjith, doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
@Anunoy, yes. I prefer words. (Majboori ka naam Mahatma Gandhi)
@ Madhu =)) will not automatically convert to on teh forum. It happens only on IndiTalk. You will have to copy paste the image to use it in the forum.
@ AS After a few days, you will write the response using brackets like :
[ madhu why don't you try to give words to your expression and put them in a bracket wala question mark smiley ] [ it's quite satisfying wala smiley ] [I'm the guarantee wala smile]
Yay! ho gaya. @Ranjith,@Rio thanks.
@Anunoy, I like to learn new things too. so for now this one is ok.
Ranjith:
I knew beforehand the actual purpose of this thread [I know it all wala wicked smile]
[i wish i told something...!]
......and what is that @Anunoy? Hamen bhi toh pata chale kya ulterior motive hai. Don't hesitate, tell us. Rio will not mind.
wo Angelina jaisi ho... buss itni si khwaish hai [at the height of impulse]....
Ssshhhh promise me it'll be a secret... mohollewalon ko pata na chale [wicked smile wetting the corner of lips]
@Anunoy, You mean she should take you away in her self piloted jet and introduce you to her six children? Nice, very nice.
oh I missesd... Brooke Shields would also do.... [blushing]
Pad suno bhailog ye baat indiforum k bahar nahi jana chahiye [caution]
Madhu why i felt you pulled my legs [confused]?
Aap sahi samajhe Doc. Could not resist.
don't do these kind of things Prof... don't you know young bones tend to fracture easily [apprehensive]
don't do these kind of things Prof... don't you know young bones tend to fracture easily [apprehensive]
rio dont forget to publish my smiley on ur blog and give a back link to my blog
ranjith is copying my idea, so my smiley n backlinks should be above his smiley
Don't worry Nandini. Rio will insert 100 smileys and backlinks for each of us.
It is indeed true Rio who one wants the shackles of early marriage now a days
I think a lot of it is community specific. Traditionally marwaris try and get their wards married as quickly as possible. (talking through my hat. Anything to not do any real work.)
@ Rio That's a good way to escape. But it feels equally good to get married and have a loving wife at a young age.
Note : Young doesn't mean Annunoy's age.
or Ranjith's age.
Marriage is the proverbial 'ladoo' that everyone wants to eat.Those who eat it repent and those who don't hanker for it.
Still walk into it with your eyes open knowing that you are relinquishing control over your life. (Debatable point with pros and cons, I am aware.)
Try to stay away from people who display their money and are rude to people who cannot answer back due to whatever reason.
Madhu, what if you aren't sure if you want to eat it? It's like sometimes you hanker for it and many times you run from it.
Hmmm...so in short, you don't become "Dhobi ka kutta, na ghar ka na ghat ka." Wise suggestion.
@Pankti, i suppose you could get engaged to someone and delay the wedding ad infinitum. Then you will have the laddoo in sight but no compulsion to eat it. ;-) What say?
@Rio, cent percent correct. Par in singletons ko kaise samjhayen?
Lol Madhu....fabulous idea
@Madhu: Abh kabhi kabhi yeh singletons' will power can last long - I am 50 and still not hankering for the ladoo :)
Let that day come for me Rio then we will talk :) Abh kitne shaadi shudhdha hain jinhone samjha ki apni dream spouse mil gaya aur tha zindagi rote rehte hain jinka main ziqr nahin kar raha hoon aur aap ek iklota dost ka namoona pesh kar rahe ho :)
My husband should be a huMAN rather than just a MAN!
Someone who agrees to get married outside when its raining. Also, breakfast with this person needs to be enjoyable.
Its holy, doesn't that mean rain-proof and everything-proof?
I think you already have my views in that post "How I stayed a bachelor" in marriagebook Rio :)
Sure bro. That post attracted highst number of visitors and comments.
Shows the number of people who want to remain single I suppose :)
I'll think about this question in my sleep today and come up with an answer tomorrow.
Interesting to see what a IITian want for a future spouse. Will keep my eyes peeled cause I may have something to post. Tech + Marriage looks good
Or maybe I will make a guest post on MB if Sir Rio allows me
today is the tomorrow you talked about yesterday, now give all ur answer
@ Nadini You should be patient. Do you think that I will be missing my classes to give an answer.
@ Vijay I am not a big fan of tech. And IITians are just like anyone else. If I write a post about IITians, half of the post will talk bad things about them.
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