Please review my blog. It is a blog on short stories, poetry and songs.
The blog consists of short & long stories.I have also included poetry/songs in it. I am looking forward for the review of some of my writings from your end. Your review will be of much help as it will encourage me to write better.Looking forward for a reply.
Reason: Recent inclusion of poetry/songs.
You have written on two very diverse themes, I shall comment on the first story.
I enjoyed going through Patience, portraying a decadent modern relationship in which selfishness and hedonism destroy love. The complete story is in the narrative form; often "showing" rather than "telling" is a better tool in capturing and holding the interest of a reader. For example, "But she pleaded for one more chance. She tried to prove her worth." How did she do this? At this point in the story, the reader is drawn into a highly charged emotional drama and is interested in knowing more. "But he wasn't ready." Why did he feel he wasn't ready? You have got the curiosity of the reader and have done the groundwork for building situations and episodes to draw him/her further into your story but abruptly leave it at that, almost in a hurry to finish. The reader wants to understand and peer into the process that leads the protagonists to decide it is best to go separate ways.
In the last paragraph you change from the third to the first person.
On the whole, a relevant mainstream topic that draws upon the shifts in the traditional man-woman roles in our society. Interesting substance. Keep writing!
Shormila Junak
http://shormilajunak.blogspot.de
