New IndiVine Contest: YES or NO to Pre-Martial Sex

baba.....this topic is getting hot in discussion.....but thanks all to give ur point of views ....surely it will help both sides of debate to put a nice post.....I also love to write about practical aspects of life ..Sex and love both are one of them....

Which Baba? 

How did I miss this interesting discussion...lols

I was travelling a lot.

my two cents in discussion, being at the precarious age of 25, I have the liberty to experiment lols

Pre marital sex can be examined and judged only if you one can try to understand the institution of marriage and what you perceive the institution as.

Today's world caught up in social media,listicles and the concept of instant gratification have completely perverted the definition of marriage, therefore it is necessary that we also change our perception of sex.

Me, I am all in support for pre marital sex, I see that it results in much lower divorce rates, and God knows divorce is soon to be become a huge issue in india, but at the same time I am in complete agreement which the concept of arranged marriage and will infact try to downplay love marriage. Contradicting isn't it, read my blog post to find out!

Please cite stats and studies to to support your assertion that "it results in much lower divorce rates"... I know people who indulged in premarital sex who are curretnly divorced.

I see you agree with my assertion that to understand the ramifications of pre-"marital" sex, we must understand what marriage truly is. Out here there are same sex marriages as well. Though homosexuality is illegal in India do you expect me to believe that homosexuaity does not exist in India?

My basic stand is:

1. If you insist on discusing pre-marital sex, let's not talk about "Indian" vs "Western" culture. There ain't no such thing...

2. Let's review this as a sociological study and list real reasons for and against. Not some scriptures / some superstition / some societal "log kya kahenge". Though that is a real constraint to open discussion, if we want to really discuss it, we have to overcome that tabooness of the subject (is there such a word as tabooness? Too late now, I just made it up..)

3. In any such review we should consider what options exist for controlling it. Are there, in fact, any options? ( How's the homosexuality law working out there, huh? )

4. The original question was "Should we write about it or not?" Fine: let's talk about that. Why and why not? Give me reasons for both sides. Don't parrot the "against Indian culture"

5. At the end of the day, we may agree to hold on to our beliefs unchanged. That's fine too. But think of the amzing fun I'll have during the discussion.... :)

Don't have any stats, just observation. I may be wrong, since the observation groups under consideration are all under less than five years of marriage. But yes, those who have had experience of maintaining a relationship before marriahe are more successful at handling marriage. Makes me think marriage is really like an institution like I IT or something and to be successful at it, better enroll yourself in kota, I. E get a girlfriend before getting married 

LOL. IIT, Kota!!!

One more thing, I found that a divorced man automatically becomes a nice person, and a respected member of the society. Doesn't matter if the divorce is after marriage or the breakup during the engagement phase.

uh what? Are you saying that divorced men become a nice person because they are divorced? Not sure that follows.

What I do believe to be true is that a divorced man carries no stigma but a divorced woman is automatically viewed with suspicion, at best, and considered a "loose character", at worst.

Pure conjecture on my part, but yes I think divorced men go out of their way to help people, perhaps because they have already gone through he'll and don't want other people to suffer like them. Many people around me like that, first divorced guy I interacted with was one of my college professors, extremely smart talented, well spoken and genuinely nice guy, but kadhe  kadhe aisi gandi  let a tha, by god, he had a sharp tongue and a meek voice.

@ajesh totally agree with your opinion man, love to read up on you in the forum 

One more reason I am up for pre marital sex is because it would just be sad if the boy finds out after marriage that his partner is experienced and he isnt, then he looses out the position as the alpha in the family and has to be guided by the girl. 

And this I assure you is a cold hard reality, don't think there can be any virgin girl coming out of a good college ( please note I am not using virgin in the strictest of sense)

To talk about pre-marital sex, one must first define the point from where an action qualifies to be categorised as sex. Now this point, I believe, will be different for different sensibilities. What do you think?

Yeah - we can define sex. We can define marriage. We can define what is pre and what is post. That should be fun.

Now we're talkin'.Thanks for opening up the debate....

Define the point in time, the demarcation point i.e. marriage. Define it's significance, it's connotation and denotation.

Define what constitutes sex, first base, second base? All the way?

Are we going to write a thesis on it?

A thesis won't be more than 50-100 pages. A book or an encyclopedia would be better!

are you writing a thesis on it Ranjith.

Yes Ranjith writes a thesis about having 3-4 wives but being celibate till one get married :P

k this http://www.indiaglitz.com/dillunnodu-telugu-movie-review-18381 

is the move i had in my mind whne i talked about 1-2 wives :P

One (wife) or Girl friend is generally hard to handle and how about 2 or 3 onward? wowwww...

HR Watch this movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHL6Yj9HQ-g

The hero falls in love with two girls and manages to make them both accept for the 1 man - 2 women marriage 

@Hafeezur If a person has a wife, pre-marital phase has already ended. :) I hope no one mixes up pre-marital with extra-marital. 

@ Ranjith, yes, hopefully that movie was taken from real story around .

@ Arvind, yes, pre is different than post  on this topic , that's why I have stated Wife (to reply for other's reply) and GF suitably.

This book has 1084 pages? 

This is a really difficult topic... and it isn't easy to stay on track while writing on pre-marital sex.

So I really admire those bloggers who have already written and submitted 82 posts for this contest. I've been at it since morning and seem to be going round and round and not finding a way out.

Guess Pre marital sex is all about going round and round, and not finding a way out

Arvind, really, mind got stumped and I too some how came up after quite some time. 

@Ajesh, your knack at humor is superb, it is easy cup of cake for you, as far as I understood from your posts. 

Extend please 

My post is finally uploaded and submitted... and I was surprised to discover that it is one of 146 posts there! I'm sure the final tally of submissions is going to be nothing less than 180.

Best of luck Arvind

It seems to be a topic where everybody has an opinion and can write about it .The prize though is something of a downer ,I wish the prize was something more interesting .

Agree with Preeti...looking at the number of entries now...and still a whole day to go... :)

Ha! Ha! Managed to upload a second post on this topic... do read, please. :)

Submitted. Hope they read the entry atleast because lots of effort has gone into the post. 

I see you wrote two posts. kudos. 

Yes Rio, I actually put up lot of effort on my first one. It took so much time. I think this is the hardest I have worked for any contest. 

Tried to post a more entertaining second one. 

yes, it was too filmy.

200 posts submitted in total. I wonder how these people could write on it? This topic has been one of the most difficult writeups of my life, was literally banging my head when I pressed submit button :(

very bold blogger posts on platter. 

Should I have submitted my post too? I don't think it would have won anyway and the prize wasn't attractive either.

you should have posted. my view.

  you never know what you might have won. Atleast some hearts.

Any hearts there waiting to be won? You can always read the post - for free....

yes yes, sure sure.

My post is buried under the rubble of Pre -marital posts.  It might suffocate to death. Someone bring it to limelight.

Don't worry, Rio - Words of true widom will shine like a bright light from even the darkest caverns.

Rio did you find mine "bold" too?? 

Uttpal, yes, it was a prudent one but not bold enough like some very daring ones.

TF, I don;t know my words shine or shinerstaking away my words of wisdom. I saw my post of 'in the shoes of Nehru ji, visited by record 21000 people but only one comment and oe my reply comment. that's all. I saw this pre marital page and saw randomly sorted posts plenty of times but my post didn't come up even once. As if someone had cought it from below and not letting come up. 

I can't see your post Rio? ??

it is there somewhere, lost in the jumble of bold & the beautiful posts. I too couldn't find it. I hope they have not confiscated it.

I could not locate your post ..They have actually caught it, maybe declaring you as a winner.. :D

there is some glitch. it shows on my indistatus as one post submission from me. 

200 

I didn't write for it. Otherwise, it would have been 201

I too didn't 

The interesting thing is equating pre-marital sex with promiscuity. I don't believe the two are the same thing.

The way the discussion started on this topic, I thought it wouldn't have that many entries :-D

It ended up having more entries than any of the recent contests :-D

Glad I could submit mine too :-)