Software Engineers Eh!!- By Abhishek Iyengar

http://thoughtsunparalleled.wordpress.com/ 

Software Engineers eh!! Well as I was taking my regular stroll, the ever troublesome neighbor called on me, he looked tensed, his glasses was slewing from his nose as he looked in complete grief, i rushed to his house to ask “what happened?” “Ah! my monitor and UPS are not working..” “I am not able to talk to my daughter in US, you got to repair it…” before i could really digest the very fact that he had called on me to check his monitor and UPS, he handed over me a pair of ‘Screwdriver’ and a ‘cutting-plier’, “here you go! is that enough?” he continued to look at me with a ray of hope, “But! Why me?” i raised my voice with out bothering to notice his ‘ray of Hope’ , “oh! come On! stop acting, I know you can do it, after all you are good software engineer” he added, before I could really explain him, to my shocking disbelief I was there trying to repairing his Monitor, don’t even try to imagine the result of that repair.

Well the point is the myth around us! ‘ Software Engineers are not the people who can repair a monitor or an UPS’

And if by chance we manage to repair, then it only due to all the good karma’s we have done in our past!

It is not over yet! the other day an old lady grinned at my face after she saw my tag, “Software Engineer?” she exclaimed, with no other option I said “yes”, before i could even ask her the reason for questioning my profession in the middle of the road she dragged me into her house, made me sit in front of her age old 1000 BC system and uttered “The screen is blank from past 2 days….” please do something, before I could even try to tell something, she pulled a chair sat right next to me and said “teach me! how to remove this blank screen..” all that occurred to my mind was to tell “throw your system huh!” with no option and literally at a knife point i started looking into the system to find her OS being crashed. “Your Windows is crashed mam! got to reload it” I answered with a sigh of relief on my face, “grrr! can’t you make one crash proof? kaam-chors, why do you get paid so much? you lazy buggers! do you sleep in office? What to do now? tell me” she shouted at me to my total dis-belief, I tried to pacify myself and uttered with a meek, low voice “We don’t do this…”, “What?” she hollered, “What to do now, tell me ..” she questioned authoritatively, loosing my cool I shouted sarcastically “Ah! contact Bill GATES..” thinking that the answer will keep her down but in-came a return voice which was like a Tsunami “huh! grr! see you don’t know anything, why the hell I need to contact’ Gates’ to repair my Windows..” ah! before she could shoot me, I escaped jumping her compound and swore never to enter that road again, yet again ‘Software Engineers eh!”

FYI:- We software Engineers are not responsible for any Window’s or any Operating system crash, we all work in different fields you cannot shoot us because there was a bug in the operating system, understand ‘To Err! is Human’ and don’t even think of our pay! come on! we know it

SE’s are blamed for everything, “Ah! you Software engineers, it is because of you guys the economy is hurt..” how many times have we heard that? A vegetable vendor accused me for the decreasing economy, he said in a voice that was almost killing me “If only you people had worked hard without sitting at one place in front of that idiotic thing and developing belly’s” he held me responsible for the carrot’s rate being increased in the ‘Yashwanthpur Vegetable Mart’

Software Engineers are not responsible for the increasing vegetable rates in Yashwanthpur vegetable Mart, also please note that we do work and sitting in front of the idiotic thing is our work! and please don’t even start off on the recession, it is not a epidemic that was transmitted by us, we are also infected with it.

If this was not enough, there was yet another shocker when I was congratulated for “Hey maga! congrats you bought Satyam..”, “Ya right! thank you uncle, I had all the money to buy Sathyam but unfortunately my bank loan to buy a 10*10 site in Bangalore has been rejected..” Well that’s the way to go!

In the interest of all Software Engineers, Spare us! we are regular homo sapiens who work 8 hours to feed our families, we are regular people who intend to fight with auto drivers for charging more, we are regular people who still find a chance to eat at a ‘Dharshini’ than a ‘Star Hotel’ we are regular people who try to avail maximum discounts at any shopping mall,

If your doctor can specialize in ‘Right-ventricular-middle-articular-left- canal-Pediatric-heart” then even we can specialize in various things like ‘Data-Warehouse’, ‘Networks’, ‘Telecom’, ‘ AI’, ‘Web technology’ et al..We dont know everything in that idiotic box and the raising technology

alas! if only the people had understood us better!

-Abhishek Iyengar