Holi Story writing challenge! (Deadline extended-11th March) Plz get in Indiblog

Anunoy Samanta
Anunoy Samanta
from Bardhaman
12 years ago

Hi Indibuddies, I'm thinking of starting a relay race of story writing centred around the theme "Holi/colour/festival/emotion".... now let me explain how it will work... Somebody (suppose Mr/Ms A) will write one paragraph with whatever imaginations/plot he/she thinks in his mind and submit the paragraph here.... I'm telling not to submit that single paragraph in his/her blog because it'll be so attractive and charming to post the whole story at the end, well I'll talk about it later.... then after Mr A submits here his paragraph, some other Indiblogger (Mr B) has to inform that he'll continue with the second paragraph... he has to submit the second paragraph within 4 hours of his information, otherwise somebody else can take up the task.... then likewise Mr B will post his paragraph here as a continuation of Mr A's work.... then some other Indiblogger (say Mr C) can inform here that he wants to continue the ongoing story with its 3rd paragraph... AND THIS TRANSFER OF BATON WILL CONTINUE TILL 11th MARCH 12th NOON (precisely 1day after Holi). Then I'll join all the paragraphs, minimally edit it for any gross error to make our Indi-Holi-Story and post it in my blog. All the contributors of the story will kindly submit their blog url as well which will be used while giving credit to the authors for every paragraph in my blog... the story won't simply be posted in my blog... it'll be posted in the same format to all contributors' blogs alongwith the blog links of all its authors as will be formatted by me. Now an expected question in your mind perhaps is, if the story doesn't conclude by 9th March??? Well in that case I (as the creepy idea giver) will take a little bit more responsibility in giving it a 'the end' paragraph! 

So guys do you like my idea? Are you guys interested for this teamwork??? If you have any question please put it here.... and if this idea seems good enough please start the story writing challenge my friends.... we don't have much time Wink

If you want I can start with the first paragraph... anybody else interested to begin??

SmileSummarised Rules:-

1)you can't submit a paragraph without a prior notice in this thread and you have to submit your paragraph within 4 hours of that notice to keep your assurance valid.

2)you can't submit a paragraph without reading all the pre-submitted ones and your para should be a continuation of the running story.

3)you can introduce any new character but in such a way that it fits with the spirit of the story.

4)you should always leave an open end to your paragraph so that the other friends can continue the story.

5)while submitting your contribution, please submit the link of your blog where you wish to post the story after it's complete.

6)you can certainly give multiple contributions but not continuosly, i.e. there should be some other author's contribution inbetween any two of your paragraphs.

7)there is No word limit for any paragraph.

8)try to stick with english only even in dialogues so as to facilitate understanding of all of our indifriends.

Cheers guys... forward march... Wink

Story so far:-

Pramod Lohia•^_^•:

This is a real happening or saga, as one likes can call it. This is the year 1987, month of march. I am recently married and upon earnest calls from my wife to come to her village on the occasion of Holi, I eagerly agreed to her calls. Since it is my Sasuraal, I am dressed in best of attire and headed towards her village by train. My mind is fully occupied. In my briefcase I have the costliest variety of herbal colors. All the pretty faces of her village, who had played pranks on me' at marriage day were circling my mind. I have a small tablet of bhaang too, concealed in the case. I knew, I couldn't ask such things from shvasur Ji. Wicked smile encircled my lips at remembrance of modhumati. She had stolen my shoes and exhorted 10000/- precious bucks. Time had come. With every passing second, train was nearing my destination. Train whistling away came to a screeching halt. My destination had arrived...,,,,,....

Anunoy Samanta:

The rusted board at one edge of the unpaved platform read Mandapur as I stepped down of the carriage with two oversized suitcases. My leather shoe, brown coat and few drops of sweat condensed at the corner of my forehead in the somewhat discourteous sunshine of the new season looked inappropriate with the dust coated benches and a hand few waiting passengers, most of whom were either soiled dhoti or patched up lungi wearers. Just few minutes back, the heart which was pounding with adrenaline for the expectation to see something pleasant… something gorgeous… something purer in the lap of nature had calmed down by now in the distasteful  fumes of Bidi. I didn’t feel like lighting my cigarette with the imported lighter. I had informed my in-laws of my arrival date and time… but I couldn’t spot any known face in a hundred metres range to my disappointment. No single coolie with red shirt was visible either… then would I have to take up that porter’s role myself clad in English clothes? I started to feel the heat… standing with my baggage seemed foolish now, so made my way towards the exit of the platform fence. As soon as I came out a bullock cart stopped in front of me and an old dark man jumped down with an over-humble smile to almost snatch the suitcases from my tired hands.

“Babu, I’m Govindalal… please pardon me for being late to pick you up… usually this train doesn’t turn up before it’s past twelve noon… but today…” he kept his sentence unfinished with a sense of guilt.

I was so relieved to have been received in that amenity less land of unknown but didn’t express my contentment before the cart driver of my in-law house. I made my voice bossier and mixed little sarcasm “OK… so can we commence our journey now or would we have to wait till the sun goes overhead?”

Govindalal made his tongue half a foot out from his mouth to convey his shy apology and helped me to be comfortable inside his cart. There was a cushion inside specially kept for me. I was not used to such cart ride but hid my lack of confidence to fit in with a similar bossy instruction, “Speed up, let’s go…”

Two obedient bullocks pulled the cart through the read path meandering between paddy fields at both sides, crossing small ponds, stacks of whey, playing village kids, mango gardens, palm tress and all those I hadn’t gazed for long… the wobbly motion of the moving cart, rhythmic jingle of bells tied to bullocks’ neck and the continuous creaking sound of its wooden wheels induced a drowsy state to my tired, vacant but satisfied mind. A sudden noise of a group of people splashed water to my in-cart slumber….

“Beta, hopefully you didn’t have any problem in your way”, my father-in-law’s tone mixed with soppy hospitality made me realise that I had reached my destination. Govinda went into the house with my luggage and my Sasur ji patted my shoulder while I got down and made a loud call “Laxmi’s mother come out fast… come and see who has arrived… hurry… hurry”...................

Pramod Lohia•^_^•:

The excitic uproar in the house could be' heard clearly. " damaad babu aa Gail , jaldi thar lawa, aarti utaaare ke baa, ei thunaki, tani jaldi lawaa, etana deri, damaad babu passeena passeena bhail baadan. Khai laaki ghare kucho Mataram naa dihilen, bo**** baa, ketana chehra sukhaail baa, ketana durgandh awaat hai' tani kou dekha, kauno suaar ke tatti ke nihaan. I had put on the best cream on my face, nivea, and the scent which I had amply emptied on myself was imported from Paris. I pitied their ignorance. Who could understand the value of pure Ambergris, whale sperm perfume. My brother in law, suddenly appeared hurriedly from shop. Sensing some foul smell, hollered at Govinda, " ketana baar kahali, toke, kabahu naa sudhaarab. Neha sona ke  niman kapada pahin ke jaai ke ba, mehmaan ke laawe, naa poora ghare sadaail Dillhis. Damaad baabu kaa sochat hoi." Govinda, standing near me' tried to protest, "paahun...." my revered sala Ji interrupted" humani ke naa bujhaava ho" I felt like a nut having spent a fortune on pig manure as they were depicting it. The gorgeous girl clinging on to the macho man picture on the auspicious Bottle, looked like an all girl repellant. Even my mother in law was taking time to do the Aarti of a smelling pig, if that is what one has to say.........................

animesh:

Finally, the formality of arti was completed. All I wanted now was a good bath and then meet my sisters-in-law, specially Madhumati.

 "Pahun, henne se aayein", said Purushottam, my brother-in-law. ---- (This way brother.)

 I followed him quietly. Govinda followed us both carrying my heavy luggage. I was shown my room which fortunately was a big room with an attached bath. It somehow matched my taste and I was relieved. I really hated to bath in open, I was an English babu now, after all.

“Rawa aaram se naha dhowa ke aaram kareen ab.” said Purushottam and signaled Govinda to leave. ---- (Now freshen up yourself and take some rest.)

 As soon as Purushottam and Govinda left the room, I headed directly to the bathroom. Aah, that feeling of cold water running through my spines was awesome. All my tiredness was gone and I felt relieved. I took a really long bath with my eyes closed and humming the famous Rang Barse song.  All fresh and relieved, I dried myself and looked at the mirror.

"Oh my God, who is this? He is so aweful!", the man in the mirror looked horrible with wierd colors all over him. I looked at my back to see the person behind me. But, there was no one. I looked at the mirror again and saw the same image. A man of my height physique, he looked very similar to me but it certainly was not me. For a moment, I was shocked and then I realized what it was. Yes, it was me, but completely colored. So, they had already started Holi with me.

 I was red with anger and wanted to take the revenge as soon as possible. But, before that I had to clean myself. But how? Water in the bathroom tap was colored and I could not ask anyone to fetch fresh water as they would laugh on me. I was standing still, lost in my thoughts when someone knocked at the door.

The Fool:

I was irritated. It must be them again, come to laugh at me and put more colors. I did not open the door. There were a few more knocks. I tried to ignore the knocks. I did not want to come out till I had some idea how I would deal with these mischievous guys. But the knocking persisted. The knocker was not going to leave easily. There was no way I could think clealry with this persistent knocking. So angrily I oflung the door open. There was no one there. It must be them again! Up to their tricks! These days no one had any respect for the damaad of the house! I stepped out of the door gingerly keeping a look out for a strategically placed bucket of water above my head. Thankfully there was none. I looked around. There was absolutely no sign of anyone. Where had everyone gone?

I looked around. My eyes fell on the door of the room next to mine. It belonged to my sister-in-law Madhumitha. The door was open. My heart skipped a beat! An opportunity was at hand! I looked around to see if there was no one and then tip toed up to her room. I entered quietly and bolted the room from inside. I then quickly slipped out of my clothes. My heart was filled with anticipation as I opened the tap of the shower. Water gushed out. It looked pure and clear like a crystal. I quickly took another bath and emerged out clean. I looked at myself in the mirror on the wall. I was now spotless clean – no sign of color. I had outwitted them.

I quickly returned to my room wrapped in my towel. Still there seemed to be no one around. I took off the towel and put on a fresh pair of clean clothes. What a relief! I then happened to glance at the mirror. Staring at me was again was the same man in weird colors. I could not believe my eyes. I looked again to make sure. Sure enough, my image in the mirror was again filled with colors. How could this be!  As I was wondering about how I got messy again, a strange odor wafted by. A distinctly unpleasant odor! As if pigs had come in and deposited their manure inside my room. This was too much. My wife’s relatives were carrying the joke too far. This was just not done! There is something called the limits of human decency!

As I was fuming in rage, I heard a knock at my door. 

animesh:

As I was fuming in rage, I heard a knock at my door. "I will not leave you this time. You're going to pay for this. You must pay for this.", I proceeded to open the door blessing their last seven generations. The person at the door seemed to be totally impatient this time which was obvious from continuous knocks at the door. I shouted with annoyance, "Wait! I'm coming. You don't have to break the door.", but it went into vein. Knocking was not there to stop. Totally frustrated and irritated, I opened the door at once and again, it turned out to be a prank.

I closed the door and went back to my bed, involved in my thoughts, "This needs to be ended; and ended by me. They cannot do this to me. What do these villagers think? I have been in UK for last five years, let me show them what I can do.". Suddenly, my chain of thoughts was broken when I saw tsomething on the bed. I was shocked to see the it. How far can these idiots go? I have understood the entire conspiracy now. This time they had put colors in the towel. They must have done this when I was enjoying my shower in Madhumati's room.

I really needed a good strategy if I have to win this battle. Yes, it had become a battle for me now. A question of prestige! But, immediate problem was even bigger. I badly needed a shower and again the same question was put forward to me, "How do I get fresh water?" .

While I was trying to find out a way, I heard someone shouting my name. Someone was there at the door. I tried to recognize the voice and it turned out to be my brother-in-law, shouting at the top of his voice, "Jeeju, open the door. Are you there?"

"Hmm, so this time you've come up with a new plan. OK, let's fight then.", and I opened the door. I was just about to strike him with full force, armed with best words from my dictionary when I had to stop myself. Something seemed strange. My brother-in-law looked strange and wierd. There was something missing there.

Leo (Vinay):

Dazed, he stumbled into the room, his face ashen and eyes completely unfocused. His white kurta had all dashes of colors, but his hair was only red.

 "Jeeju, help me," his voice came in a whisper as he fell on to the bed.

I rush to his side and taking some water from the pot near the bed, sprinkle it on his face.

"What happened to you? Did you drink too much?" I ask, concern echoing in my voice.

"No. They pranked me too; threw some color in as I was taking a shower. Didn't notice till it was too late."

"But.." I began, but he cut me off.

"As I was walking out in a huff to protest, they..." and he lost consciousness. before he could complete his words.

"Poor guy, he's been in the same troubles as I have," I think, stroking his hair. 

When I lift my hand, I see my palm is blood red. I gather what's happened instantly and rush out the door, yelling, "Help! Purushottam has been attacked. Keesee ne Purushottam ko maara hai."

I'm met half way by my sister-in-law, who asks me what is wrong and why am I shouting. "Arey! Come quickly, jaldee aao, tumhare pati ko kisee ne maara hai," I put in, trying to remember whatever Hindi I could.

I pull her to the room, only to find it empty. "Aapka dimaag kharaab ho gaya hai," she chides me and walks off.

I walk behind her, telling, "Nahi, nahi, vishwaas karo mera. He was there. Dekho, mere haath bhi khoon se rangi hai"

In the hallway, I see him, and come to a halt. "Kya hua jeeju," Purushottam asks me, smiling.

"Has lo, sab has lo. But revenge will be mine! Yes, it is I who shall win in the end!" I shout out to no one.

A minute later, he hears the door of my bedroom slam, and I hear the giggles of my sister-in-law fading away..

The Fool:

Once again a knock was heard at my door. Not again! It was ok to have some fun. But they were carrying it too far. This was beginning to feel like ragging. “Ah, ragging!” His mind travelled down the memory lane. As a final year student he had had real fun ragging. Then suddenly his brows knit into a frown. It had been fun till that stupid village kid came up and screwed it all up by committing suicide. If these village bumpkins are so sensitive, why don’t they remain in the village? Why did they have to come to colleges in cities and make our lives miserable! After all it had been nothing but good natured fun.

My thoughts went back to the events surrounding the suicide 10 years back. There had been a national uproar. The government had to pass strict anti-ragging laws. The Newspapers had gone on hyper drive. Everyone had been hounding for my blood. But thanks to my dad, I was saved from complete ruin. God had indeed been merciful bestowing me with a politician father. And what was the name of that trouble maker kid? Some Raj Kishan, Raj Narain something!  Hmm…. That was such a long time back. 

The thoughts about the kid rang another bell in my head. When my wife had first mentioned the name of her village to me, it had sounded vaguely familiar. That time I could not recollect where I had heard the name of the village before. Now I remembered. That suicidal kid had been from the same village. I wondered if some of his villagers still lived in the village. Maybe I could make some inquiries when I had some time.

The knocking still continued. “Please open the door, Jijaji. Please don’t be angry with us. We were just having some fun with you. Come and join us in the celebrations!” It was my favorite sister-in-law Madhumitha.  Hearing Madhumitha’s voice caused all my anger to dissipate in a jiffy. I had a smile on his face as I went to open the door.

animesh:

"Wait wait. I'm coming.", I said loudly when I almost ran towards the door. And this time again, I was a made a fool. There was no one at the door and the gallery was silent like a mortuary. "Oh for God sake, stop it now at once.", I shouted at the top of my voice which was echoed back. Not a single sign of any living being! How can someone run away so fast. The gallery adjoining the door was at least 100 meters and it would take at least 2 minutes to cross it even if someone runs. And in that case, sound of footsteps should be heard.

I peeped into Madhumati's room adjoining mine in a hope to find her there. But, the room was also empty. I was surprised now. What was going on here since morning? I decided to take a look around that big house. It took me more than 30 minutes to see around that house. It was so big that it's better called a Haveli. Strangely, the entire haveli was drowned in a strange silence. I'd call it a killing silence. And most surprisingly, there was no one to be seen. Where is everybody? Where have they gone? I tried calling my name but no one replied except my echo.

Tired, confused and irritated, I finally returned back to my room. I closed the door and my mind again went back to my college. Raj Narain was a fresher and I was in my final year. It was our last chance to enjoy the hostel life to the fullest and I did it want to miss the chance. He was easiest of them all, an innocent and simple guy straight out of a remote village. Being a son of an influential politician, I least cared about any consequences. He was made to do all kinds of stupid and humiliating stuff and we could not know when fun became a torture. When he could not take it anymore, he committed suicide and life after that was hell for me.

While I was thinking all these, suddenly my eyes wandered towards the front wall and what I saw was the biggest shock of the day. The photo which was hanging there sent chills to my spines and I froze at my place.

umesh derebail:

The photo which was hanging on the wall belonged to my classmate Sabita, she was cute and beautiful. I had a silent yearning to be friendly with her. We used to play volleyball in the school courtyard.  I distinctly remember those days we used to look forward to playing volley a mixed team with boys and girls in a team.  Some of the gals were bold and used to pass the ball and score points while blocking a smash from the opposite team.  It was one hell of a time considering that it was 11 years ago.  Now I was shocked to see her photo hanging with a garland around the same.  I hope she did not meet an horrible end.  I was eagerly waiting to hear what happened to Sabita ?

Pramod Lohia•^_^•:

My trance was shaken by some hefty pull at my hand. Madhumita it was, " jeeju, khana lag Gaya table pe, jaldi aaiye. Mummy gussa ho rahi hai. I hesitatingly asked her, " Sabita ka photo, on the wall, kya hua usko." Madhumita ,  in a hush hush voice, " jeeju, how you now her." she is dead for us. She was adamant on marrying some bloke of college. Dadda Ji, and she had a rude encounter. She left the house into oblivion. Latest we knew of her to be working in some big conglomerate company in Mumbai. Dadda Ji doesn't even want her name to be heard in the house. I was relieved to hear, she was alive. How in the hell could she die. She was a brave girl. A sensation of pride swept inside me. I was eager to know more of Sabita. I was glad Madhumita didn't pester me on how I knew of her. We had reached the place of feast. Smell of chole bhatoore, was filling the air. I sat hurriedly. If I describe each and every item here, friends gonna kill me. Just to mention the special pakoda's Madhumita was earnestly putting in my mouth, with her delicate hands. Suddenly I heard some hush hush voice from the kitchen. "don't feed too much Bhaang ke pakoda , he will get ill. I immediately reckoned it to be my wife's voice. I could reckon it from a mile.

animesh:

"Arrey didi, he has come for the first time, that too on Holi. Let him enjoy. You better do not interefere between Jeeja and Saali", Madhumati said putting some more pakodas in my plate. I was overwhelmed with joy and gulped all of them at once. First time since I had arrived, things seemed to be going well. I was enjoying my pakodas and Madhumati at the same time. Little did I know what there was in stock for me next.

Next morning when I woke up, my head was heavy. I had taken a lot of Bhaang pakodas the day before. And then whiskey party with brother-in-law and his friends added more flavor to it. I needed black coffee badly to get rid of my hang-over. But, before that I had to relieve myself. I tried to stand up, but fell on the bed. There were stars everywhere and entire world was revolving around me.

Bhaang and Scotch had started to show their color. I could not see properly. Wall was too far away but Sabita's photo on the wall was just above me, staring at me with anger. The fan was revolving in the opposite direction with its full speed. The roof seemed so close as if falling on me. I tried to close my eyes but they won't close. I covered them with both my hands and tried to shout. But, my voice choked. 

"Thak thak thak", someone was at the door again. I tried to stand up once again but could not. Finally, it seemed that whoever was there at the door left with no hope as the sound at the door stopped abruptly. But, there were some other voices coming from somewhere else as if many people were talking to each other. I tried to hear them, but could not understand a single thing. Voices were coming nearer and nearer.  Finally, they were very near to me. It was coming from the direction of the window.

umesh derebail:

The voices slowly started fading away as if into distant memory.  I started dreaming about Sabita, how to meet her in Mumbai ?  My infatuation on Sabita seemed to take over.  I was feeling restless and started rolling over and over again from left to right on the mattress.  My thoughts after marriage how is she shaping up ?  Is she blessed with any children ? how will her hubby react if he finds her classmate suddenly turning up at their doorstep ? So many questions were getting mixed up in my brain.

Suddenly Madhumita shout Jijo wake up it is already 9 am.  She said " Jijo aapne kafi Bhang ki pakode aur Scotch pi li kal raat ko "  Jaldi utkar aap tayar ho jao.  I was feeling still heady and suddenly thought of an idea to get rid of a hangover.  I remember experienced drinkers used to dicuss in bars the best way to get rid of hangover is to have a chota peg.  I quickly searched Sala's cupboard and found the scotch bottles.  I slowly sipped a chota peg with lot of water surreptously before Madhumita returned.  The hangover started slowly diminishing.

The Fool:

I quickly shoved the bottle and glasses under the table as I heard footsteps. On or one or two occasions, when I had drunk too much I had experienced blank outs. But yesterday night had not been a blank but a myriad of colors. From the moment of the first peg of scotch, reality had merged with fantasy. Memory loss was easy to handle. But the problem was not of scarcity but that of abundance. I tried to parse through the multitude of memories. But I could not distinguish reality from fantasy. No wonder philosophers of the yore had so often questioned the true nature of reality. I had not been much of a philosopher. But now I was suddenly feeling philosophical.

I turned around as I suddenly as I felt a presence close by. She was standing there quietly smiling at me. She had never been one for words.  At least not spoken word! Speak, she did but with her eyes. I peered into the unfathomable depth of her eyes. It was sucking me in like a black hole. Her eyes always had that kind of an effect on him. He had always considered a classic timeless beauty. And indeed she was! She did not seem to have aged a day from when he had seen her 10 years back.

A thousand questions raced in my head. What was she doing here? Did she feel the same about me after so many years? How was she related to my wife’s family? If they had disowned her, how was she allowed into the house now? But somehow this did not seem like a time for questions. I was in a magical trance like state. I feared any words would destroy the moment. I wanted to hold on to this moment and live it for eternity.

I got up instinctively and took her into my arms. She came easily without offering the slightest of resistance. I put my arms around her and ran my hands gently over her dark hair. She just leaned on me and breathed softly.  All questions and logic disappeared from my head as the precious moment engulfed me in itself.

animesh:

I loved her like a mad. This time was not to come back again. I was afraid that she will disappear once again. I don't know when I slept taking her in my arms.

Next morning when I was still in my dreams, I heard some giggles around me. They seemed to be coming from a distance, perhaps I was still in my dreams. I slowly opened my eyes and found at least eight pairs of eyes staring at me and eight faces laughing their heart out. I was surprised and was not able to understand what was going on there. Suddenly, I felt something near me and I looked around. The scene was horrible. Moti, the pet dog of the house was sleeping beside me and I had wrapped him in my arms like a beloved. We both were lying on the floor and he was happily using all skills of his toungue on my face.

The Fool:

I let go off the dog and got up angrily. I had enough of these relatives. Then my eyes fell on her lovely face. Sabita was looking at me lovingly with her doe eyes. She was the one I trusted most in the world. I knew the whole world can discard me, laugh at me, abandon me, but not her. She had stood with me through thick and thin. 9 years she had bore the wrath of her entire family. No one had spoken to her for 9 years. Her family had disowned her. Her grandfather had conducted funeral ceremonies for her. Her heart bled. But she knew I needed her. Sometimes I doubt though if it is sympathy or love. Though often I tried to brazen it out and act cool, the suicide incident at college had left a deep scar in my mind. She was the one who has been applying balm to my wounds.  Lot of people try to distinguish between love and sympathy. But if you ask me, ”Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”  All that matters is that the person I love is with me all the time and I am happy whatever the reason. I would do anything to make her happy.

Last year grandpa had had sudden change of heart at his death bed. The family still did not hold our marriage legal as they had not participated. So we had to get married again. Don’t know about the legality of this thing. Anyways we did not try to get it registered a second time. The marriage had been a mixed affair. Some of the people like my sister-in-law had accepted our relationship whole heartedly. Some like my father-in-law showed me lot of respect openly but I felt I still had a long way to go to win a place in his heart. While still others like her uncle Daulat Ram still chose to continue hostilities.

This Holi was the first festival after our marriage. And this was my opportunity to win their hearts. And here I was getting angry at their good natured fun! Probably all this tricks were their rites of initiation into their family. In college, the boys who went through ragging sportingly ended up as best friends with the seniors. I had done that and the seniors who ragged me were the ones who became my best of friends later on. So why take a different approach here? Just because they are girl side people, I should expect them to be servile to me? How male chauvinistic! I am not like that. This was my opportunity to show my love for Sabita. To give something back to her for all she has done for me these 10 years.

With these thoughts in mind, I turned to them with a smile, “Good fun you folks had at my expense, eh?”

Kirti:

"Arre ye to shuruvaat hai Jeeja Ji; aage aage dekho hota hai kya" my brother-in-law said, the imbecile he was. I felt my irritation grow again. All my thoughts of reacting amiably with my relatives and turning out as 'best  friends forever' vanished at once. 

Huh, i thought, what do these simple villagers know about things like ettiquette and culture, letting my earlier sense of superiority creep into me. I am a foreign return after all, i continued my muse, and  if it weren't for impressing my in-laws, i wouldn't have even bothered to grace this hellish, smelly place with my mere presence. I glibly tried to forget how these very residents of this 'hellish, smelly' place had neatly pulled off trick after trick on their poor damaad babu.

Just as i was entering another interesting spiral of thought; pitting my wits against my in-laws, i heard the brake of car wheels outside. All my relatives trooped at the window of my room and then scrambled to go down. An instant hush was spread over the group, wiping out the last traces of humor.

Sabita was the last one to leave the room and i saw her hesitate at the door just as she turned back slowly to look at me. The immense sadness in her beautiful hazel eyes surprised me; i wondered about the cause of the emotion in them.

I didnt have to wonder for long though, my curiosity answered my questions for me. Tired and bored of drooling on my bed like a piyakkad, i cautiously stepped out of the room and made way downstairs. The huge troop of my relatives had shifted from my room to the large courtyard in the front. Just in the background, i could see a posh Mercedes Benz parked in front of the gate, it was a dazzling blue. I felt my eyebrows raising. A MERCEDES and that too in THIS neighbourhood??

I felt my apprehension rising i stepped forward. i could make out a tall frame in midst of my crowding relatives and a husky voice drawl out "Sorry i couldn't make it yesterday folks, i had some important work back in Bhopal. I had to personally assist my crew there to investigate and take report of the gas-tragedy that took place. Anyways, i hope you had fun!"

"That we did Jeeju, made another Jeeja ji our bali-ka-bakra" my brother in law piped up, issuing laughs.

So, i thought with rising irritation, i was THIS guy's substitute for those pranks. But who the hell WAS this guy?

As the crowd cleared and made to go inside, i got a tiny glimpse of the newcomer. to say he was just handsome would be a complete understatement. He was like a Greek-God, with a tall, lean frame and a mop of disheveled inky-black hair to support his charming features. His straight aquiline nose stood out in his tanned face, making me instantly conscious of my own stubby nose. It was as if Adonis himself had taken pains in building up this specimen. There was an easy grace to his walk and an effortless charm to his manner of speaking, i mean it was clear by the way each one of my relatives hung on to his every word.

I never got this sort of treatment, i thought huffily.

As he came nearer to me, i finally got a full look of the handsome guy. and as i saw those familiar sea-grey eyes again, i got the biggest shock of my life. My heart froze in its place as a hundred memories swept me through, i didn't even notice Purushottam tugging my arm and asking me to go inside.

"who is he?" i managed out in a whisper as he passed me without even sparing me a glance. 

"Oh, you mean Abhimanyu Jeeju? why, he is Sabita's husband of course!" he replied, pitying me  for my lack of information.

I saw Sabita trun back to look at me again, the same sad look in her eyes and i felt my heart wrench out in pain- so this was the man she had chosen over me?

but the pain over her betrayal was nothing. I was terrified of more pressing issues on my mind. For Abhimanyu was not just the husband of the girl i loved; he was a demon, a demon from my past, back to haunt me over the one incident that i still wasn't allowed to forget.

A plain visit to my in-laws was turning into more gruesome prospectives...

Leo (Vinay):

When I go to the terrace of the haveli, it is empty but for a servant girl, who puts down the bucket, and giving me a warm smile, goes downstairs. She doesn't notice the glass in my hand, or the small bulge in my shirt where I've hidden the bottle of scotch. "What if she'd seen and told Madhumita?" I think. That was a close escape.

The grandeur of the haveli hits me then. Marble floors, even on the terrace. "Well off people, no wonder Sabita had come to my college." I think.

And in the spring breeze, my mind drifts back to those old days again.We used to be the darling couple of the college. Sabita and I. Everyone would tease us, at how united we were, even when rumors used to be circulated that I was seeing someone else, or that she was. There was an uproar in the college when, in our final year, the principal had caught us kissing in the girl's washroom, and we had defied him too and kissed again in his office. Professor Mathur, our principal, would have yearned to suspend me from college that day, but he didn't dare suspend the son of a most influential politician who had been charitable to the college.

When one of my best friends had patted her on her bum, he had left college that day with a broken nose. And no one had dared to circulate rumors or touch her lewdly after that. No one flirted with her. But it changed when on the first day of our final year, a guy one year our junior sent her a card saying she was beautiful. And after that, each day, she'd get a rose and a card. No one knew who he was, and no amount of ragging would get the secret out. She told me not to bother, that it didn't change her love for me. That we'd always be together. And I believed her.

On the day of our graduation, a handsome guy was the host of the party which the juniors threw for us. He looked dashing, and he was someone any girl would have a crush on, fall in love with. Even Sabita's soul sisters would tell me how lucky I was that she loved me so much, or else she'd definitely fall in love with him. Oh how I hated them for that. "As our seniors say goodbye to this college, I would like to say them good luck on their journeys ahead. And a special goodbye to the girl I've had a rosy affair with, Sabita," he announced, to my shock.

Abhimanyu... my nemesis. 

"Jeeju, aap phir pee rahe ho"

My thoughts are jerked back to the present by the voice of my favorite sister-in-law. Madhumita is looking at me with anger, but not surprise. I shrug off the glance awkwardly, as she comes to the parapet and stands with me.

"Tell me more about Abhimanyu. How come Sabita married him?" I ask her.

"Sabita? You are too drunk today, Jeeju.. Sabita aapke patni hai.. bhool gaye?" she asks, in mock shock and anger. 

"Oh haan. Aaj zyaada fit hoon shayad. I didn't hear properly, and I panicked too. Can you believe?" I tell her sheepishly. She laughs.

"Abhimanyu jeeju is SAVITA didi's husband. He also was in your college na? I think even she didn't know who he was till last year, when she saw him with Savita didi, at the time you both got 'officially' married here." she says.

"Oh. Who is he?" I ask. Perhaps, the trip isn't going that badly after all.

"He is the son of the Thakur here. The village head. They're the second richest family here, after us. Even his brother studied in your college."

"Really? What is his name?" I ask, curiosity increased.

"Woh to ab raha nahi. Aatmhatya kar diya tha. Raj naam tha. Raj Narain. Jaante the aap unko?"

Pramod Lohia•^_^•:

Mere mention of Raj narain sent shivers down my spine, as if somebody had hit a strong blow on my head with a hammer. Ohh.., what the heck. I got up, fully wet with sweat. I glanced at my watch, it showed 8 A.M. Startled I swung into action. My best Langotia friend (Palchan) alias palchu was to land Here at Mandapur from Pune. I had completely forgotten of him. Though he had the address but there should have been someone from my side to pick him. I couldn't remember any bloody thing, leave alone the dog licking me or  the mention of Raj narain or Abhimanue or Sabita. A reality or dream, And now, Palcchu, God only knows what was happening with him. He was coming here the first time. He had specially demanded that atleast 10 saaliyan, with garlands at the station to escort him home, only then he would come, and I had bluntly agreed to all his demands, and look, where I stood. Not even a single govinda too, to bring him. I hollered," Purshottam "at top of my lungs. Purshottam came rushing out of the shower, half in soap, water dripping, in his underwear. " kaa Bhail, Paahun" ( what happened ). Just as I was to say something, there were loud hefty bangs at the door. I along with Purshottam rushed to open the door. I was startled to see the scene. There stood Palchu, draped head to toe in blackish dump, surrounded by local guys..........,...,

Pooja Pradeep:

There stood Palchu, draped head to toe in blackish dump, surrounded by local guys..

I burst out laughing as soon as I saw him. He glared at me and I quieted down. Purushottam was was trying hard not to laugh."Welcome Bhai" I said as I went greet him."Is this the way to welcome me? I'm coming from Pune dude. I have some Izzat", he said in anger."Even I had them before coming here Bhai. You haven't faced anything yet", I said as I put my hand on his shoulders and welcomed him inside.

As I brought him inside, Abhimanyu and Sabita appeared and at once they started laughing."I'll kill you for this Dude", Palchu said."We'll pay them back man. Don't worry. First you get freshen up and then we'll show them our power"Saying this I dragged him to my room and pushed him the shower.

Palchu had a great shower. The Hot water seemed to cool his temper and he felt fresh after the long journey. He came out to get his Towel. Then he saw her.She looked beautiful. She was doing something. "But what?" he thought.He took a step forward and saw that she was messing up with his towel."Aah! Trying to trick me?", he askedShe turned around in shock. She hadn't expected to get caught."I'm sorry. I thought it was my jija-ji. Sorry", she said looking embarrased."That's alright", he winked. "So, May I know the name of this beauty?"She smiled a sweet smile at him and said, "I'm Madhumita. You must be my jeeju's friend""That I am".

I made sure that the food was set-up and went to the room to get him. I got a shock as soon as I came near the room. Palchu was flirting with Madhumita. My anger rose. How dare he???

Ok guys, that was my post. I'm extremely sorry. I told you I ruined the story. I posted it anyways.Sorry.

Leo (Vinay):

I stand there and listen in on their talk, wanting to be very protective of Madhumita. 

"Suhana Das ji, hello, how are you? Kitne din hue dekhke," comes his drawling voice. I turn around to see him standing there, in his expensive suit. 

"You have mistaken me for someone else, my name is Sud. And you must be Abhimanyu," I retort, trying to put on my best smile as I lead him away from the room reluctantly and engage in conversation.

When we're far enough from the room, I turn to him and say, "Okay. Past is past. I nurse no grudge against you, for what you did in my final year. But if you go about announcing my name again like that, I'll make you repent, Abhimanyu Narain." and without another word, walk back toward my room.

"Let the games begin," I hear him call back. And then Savita his wife calling, "Arey jee, khel to shuru ho gaye hai" as they start to laugh.

When I reach the room, I get yet another shock. I see Palchu kissing Madhumita, as she is leaving the room.  "First the flirting, and now the kiss. Too far, Palchu. I'll get you back now, wait and see." I whisper to myself.

I follow Madhumita to the terrace, and she smiles when she sees me. "Aap bhi mere peeche pade ho, Jeeju?" she asks innocently. 

"Madhu, don't fall for that guy. He's my friend, yes. But there is a side of him that you do not know. There is a name that I hate remembering the most, and you mentioned it last night. The boy who committed suicide."

"Raj? Abhimanyu jeeju ke bhaai?" she asks, shocked to the core.

"Haan. Sab bolte hain ki woh aatmahatya tha. But believe me, I know it wasn't like that. Woh kruur hatya tha, a most cruel murder"

"Nahi. Aisa nahi hai. Abhimanyu jeeju ne bataya hamko. He had hanged himself because of ragging. Mujhe mat darao"

"Madhu, look at me. I am serious," I tell her as I shake her by the shoulders. "Usne kuchh dekha tha.  Jo nahi dekhna tha. When they gave him some juice, he didn't suspect anything. but there was poison in it. How would he suspect, for it was the head boy offering it to him, and it was his brother saying it was safe."

animesh:

Madhu looked at me wih shock and suddenly outbursted, 'I cannot believe this. I cannot believe you can go to this level. Abhimanyu jeeju was right. I was the idiot who did not believe him. It's all my fault.'

 It was now my turn to get shocked, 'What did Abhimanyu say to you?' Don't believe a single word he said. He's a born lier.' , I was worried now.

Did Abhimanyu know the person behind his brother's death?

'He told me everything. How you two did not like each other and how you tried to woo his then GF and now wife by sending roses everyday. He was telling me that you can try to spread rumours about him again, but I was the fool who did not believe him and scolded him for no fault of his. Little did I know that you'll go to this level just to equal scores with him. I hate you jeeju, I hate you.'. She ran away, crying like a kid and I was standing there like an idiot.

Pramod Lohia•^_^•:

I saw Madhumati sobbing in the arms of Palchu. I had to act fast and make ammends. My prank could get heavy on me, and what would Palchu think. I knew he was very sensitive. And Madhumati was a stubborn, sensitive kid. I rushed in and hit a severe blow on the back of Palchu, and said " Kool dude, let's have lunch, " and then addressing Madhumati " hey , Madhu, look what's cooking, and just as our eyes met, I gave a wicked wink, hoping she would understand my wickedness. I , scoldingly to Palchu, "Abe , aate hi shuru ho Gaya. Thoda to meri izzat ...., Palchu cut me short " kahan kee izzat be, jab eee komeenaa log humkaa naala me dubaa dubaa ke nikaal raha tha, hiyan, araam se Madhumita sange gapiya rahe the. Humka sab bata di hai hummer Madhu" Now this was too much. Madhu, had said that. That means she is kameeni no 1, I thought in my mind, I had to worry about myself now. I told Palchu in a hush hush voice " Bhai, can you imagine dog licking your face. We have to plan and act fast or...., " Palchu interrupted me, bringing his mouth close to my ears. "we will.....,..,....." my eyes sparkling at mention of every word............

Kirti:

"That saves half the trouble" i said, as Palchu moved away his excited voice from my ear. but my mind was working on different direction altogether. Pachu's plan was totally dirty, exactly like the mind the kameena had, but it served my purpose; just like it had served my purpose back in the college days.

It was like killing two birds with one stone, i would get a proper revenge for the humiliation caused on me by my in-laws and at the same time, my past could be saved from being hurled back on stones...

As for Palchu, i didnt give a damn. If the blame comes on him, all the much better for me. I knew i was a selfish *******, but that was what i was famous for all my life. Thinking over my plan carefully, i strolled outside the room and leaned on the parapet adjoining it. At once my eyes strayed on the couple standing behind the huge Bargad tree, Savia seemed to be in Abhimanyu's arms, who was strkoing her long hair slowly, whispering something in her ear. Her soft laugh rang out in the air and i could feel my eyes cloud with the red of anger.

How dare he. How dare he come and ruin my life like that and still get to woo my best girl like that? 

With anger clouding my eyes, my plan seemed even more better. 

The night swept over the busy haveli gently but i was too blind with my plan of revenge to enjoy its subtle entry. It couldnt get dark fast enough for me. I dragged Palchu out of Madhumati's room, irritated with his ever active actions of wooing my favourite sister-in-law.

"Kya be. Hamesha ladki pe nazar? plan bhool gaya apna?" i hissed in his ear.

"Tu jab iski, uski biwi ko line maarta hai to sahi hai. Main bechara bachelor ladki ko pataun to galat??" he fumed.

Not in the mood to get in his bad books i said patronizingly "Arre nahi yaar, waqt bhi to dekha kar. Raat ho gayi hai. Sab sone ki taiyari mein hain. yehi apna time hai... plan ko anjaam dene ka " i whispered conpirationally.

The word 'plan' seemed to triggered his enthusiasm back and he nodded.

soon, a quiet lull settled over the haveli. everyone had retired to their rooms. Just then, according to the plan, Palchu flashed the SOS signal near the courtyard. We knew that curiosity was bound to kill the cat, especially as journalists had double quantity of the 'c' factor in them.

Our plan worked in barely 10 minutes, i sacked the face of our target as soon as he appeared at the doorstep. Palchu came running to me to help with the struggling guy with a string of profanities. And then, i felt a hand cover my mouth and my head come in contact with something very hard and in the split of a second i was drowned in the dark...

I woke up groggy with a splitting headache only to see the entire family surrounded around me like the day before. The ladies seemed to be crying.

Before i could open my mouth to ask what had happened someone offered me the information.

"Purushottam and Abhimanyu have disappeared. The local police have scrouged out two mutilated dead bodies this morning; chacha Ji has gone to identify them"

"But what were YOU doing at the courtyard in the night Jeeju?" Madhumati asked me, suspicion on her face

I felt a cold fear grip my heart as the sounds of Savita's crying got muffled in the background...

Leo (Vinay):

"Kucch to batao aap. Chup mat baitho. What you were doing in courtyard at night?" she pressed on, suspicion lit on her face. 

The bright sunlight streaming through the window stayed in my eyes just a minute before it pierced my head in a sonic echo only I could hear. And clutching the back of my head, I lost consciousness again.

"Uth gaye hai. Jaldi aao. Jaldi aao," a woman's voice called out as the slowly rotating fan on the haveli's ceiling came into focus again. The light was dim this time, from a couple of diyas kept at the threshold. I looked around to see her looking at me, and a few moments later, more people came and stood near me, looking worried.

"Purushottam was locked in the cellar. He says Abhimanyu and your friend Palchu pushed him there when he came out to investigate a noise. From inside, he could hear a woman's voice, and Abhimanyu was calling her by the name Kriti. He doesn't know what happened after, as he couldn't breathe for long down there, and fainted. Please tell us what is going on. Savita is very anxious and worried, and hasn't eaten anything all day."

I heard everything carefully. I didn't understand. What did they mean? 

"Jeeju, don't play around. Tell us what is going on. Now!" tells a girl. I think she is the youngest there.

"Who am I? Who are you people? Where am I? Oh my head hurts. Why did you hit me? What wrong did I do to you? Please, give me some water..."

 

Edited 12 years ago
Reason: Deadline extended... needs some discussion on it :)
Replies 41 to 60 of 82 Descending
Anunoy Samanta
Anunoy Samanta
from Bardhaman
12 years ago

updated it Animesh...... goodnight Smile

Animesh
from Mumbai
12 years ago

Good night. I am eagerly waiting for P. He is gonna kill me nowTongue out

TF Carthick
TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

What if I played spoilsport and finished the story?

Animesh
from Mumbai
12 years ago

I will kill you

Kirti
Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

who has the baton now???????

TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

I do. See above. Don't fear. I am not ending the story. It will be up in 10 minutes and you can take it next if you like.

Kirti
Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

yeah ok!! the story is coming along awesome!!

Kirti
Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

here is the Link PL. and i am GLAD you thought they WERE secrets!! :P :P 

DAY-1

Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

i am EXTREMELY sorry. i was about to post on 10 day challenge wala thread and posted it here by mistake!!!!

my apologies!!!!!!! so sorry for this

TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

And I thought I got on to the wrong thread. I am also becoming schirzophrenic like Dulha Babu. Please spare.

TF Carthick
TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

I let go off the dog and got up angrily. I had enough of these relatives. Then my eyes fell on her lovely face. Sabita was looking at me lovingly with her doe eyes. She was the one I trusted most in the world. I knew the whole world can discard me, laugh at me, abandon me, but not her. She had stood with me through thick and thin. 9 years she had bore the wrath of her entire family. No one had spoken to her for 9 years. Her family had disowned her. Her grandfather had conducted funeral ceremonies for her. Her heart bled. But she knew I needed her. Sometimes I doubt though if it is sympathy or love. Though often I tried to brazen it out and act cool, the suicide incident at college had left a deep scar in my mind. She was the one who has been applying balm to my wounds.  Lot of people try to distinguish between love and sympathy. But if you ask me, ”Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”  All that matters is that the person I love is with me all the time and I am happy whatever the reason. I would do anything to make her happy.

Last year grandpa had had sudden change of heart at his death bed. The family still did not hold our marriage legal as they had not participated. So we had to get married again. Don’t know about the legality of this thing. Anyways we did not try to get it registered a second time. The marriage had been a mixed affair. Some of the people like my sister-in-law had accepted our relationship whole heartedly. Some like my father-in-law showed me lot of respect openly but I felt I still had a long way to go to win a place in his heart. While still others like her uncle Daulat Ram still chose to continue hostilities.

This Holi was the first festival after our marriage. And this was my opportunity to win their hearts. And here I was getting angry at their good natured fun! Probably all this tricks were their rites of initiation into their family. In college, the boys who went through ragging sportingly ended up as best friends with the seniors. I had done that and the seniors who ragged me were the ones who became my best of friends later on. So why take a different approach here? Just because they are girl side people, I should expect them to be servile to me? How male chauvinistic! I am not like that. This was my opportunity to show my love for Sabita. To give something back to her for all she has done for me these 10 years.

With these thoughts in mind, I turned to them with a smile, “Good fun you folks had at my expense, eh?” 

 

TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

Here you go. Who next? Kirti?

Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

errr... one doubt TF. This damaad married who???????

TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

@ Kirti - I am not sure if I should give clarifications. It would be more fun if next person intreprested his or her own way. If I say what I had in mind, it will be taking over the whole story. But here if you notice, nobody has introduced Damaad's wife so far. So I thought what if his wife is only Sabita. How? What? etc - I have an explanation. But let me see who somebody else explains it.

The Fool, nice line given to the story,
Kirti
Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

i take up the baton.

Great, I hope you do justice to dulha babu
Kirti
Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

lol. lets see. i am thinking of giving a new twist. poor ani. uske poore plan ka chaupat ho jayega :P

Kirti
Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

"Arre ye to shuruvaat hai Jeeja Ji; aage aage dekho hota hai kya" my brother-in-law said, the imbecile he was. I felt my irritation grow again. All my thoughts of reacting amiably with my relatives and turning out as 'best  friends forever' vanished at once. 

Huh, i thought, what do these simple villagers know about things like ettiquette and culture, letting my earlier sense of superiority creep into me. I am a foreign return after all, i continued my muse, and  if it weren't for impressing my in-laws, i wouldn't have even bothered to grace this hellish, smelly place with my mere presence. I glibly tried to forget how these very residents of this 'hellish, smelly' place had neatly pulled off trick after trick on their poor damaad babu.

Just as i was entering another interesting spiral of thought; pitting my wits against my in-laws, i heard the brake of car wheels outside. All my relatives trooped at the window of my room and then scrambled to go down. An instant hush was spread over the group, wiping out the last traces of humor.

Sabita was the last one to leave the room and i saw her hesitate at the door just as she turned back slowly to look at me. The immense sadness in her beautiful hazel eyes surprised me; i wondered about the cause of the emotion in them.

I didnt have to wonder for long though, my curiosity answered my questions for me. Tired and bored of drooling on my bed like a piyakkad, i cautiously stepped out of the room and made way downstairs. The huge troop of my relatives had shifted from my room to the large courtyard in the front. Just in the background, i could see a posh Mercedes Benz parked in front of the gate, it was a dazzling blue. I felt my eyebrows raising. A MERCEDES and that too in THIS neighbourhood??

I felt my apprehension rising i stepped forward. i could make out a tall frame in midst of my crowding relatives and a husky voice drawl out "Sorry i couldn't make it yesterday folks, i had some important work back in Bhopal. I had to personally assist my crew there to investigate and take report of the gas-tragedy that took place. Anyways, i hope you had fun!"

"That we did Jeeju, made another Jeeja ji our bali-ka-bakra" my brother in law piped up, issuing laughs.

So, i thought with rising irritation, i was THIS guy's substitute for those pranks. But who the hell WAS this guy?

As the crowd cleared and made to go inside, i got a tiny glimpse of the newcomer. to say he was just handsome would be a complete understatement. He was like a Greek-God, with a tall, lean frame and a mop of disheveled inky-black hair to support his charming features. His straight aquiline nose stood out in his tanned face, making me instantly conscious of my own stubby nose. It was as if Adonis himself had taken pains in building up this specimen. There was an easy grace to his walk and an effortless charm to his manner of speaking, i mean it was clear by the way each one of my relatives hung on to his every word.

I never got this sort of treatment, i thought huffily.

As he came nearer to me, i finally got a full look of the handsome guy. and as i saw those familiar sea-grey eyes again, i got the biggest shock of my life. My heart froze in its place as a hundred memories swept me through, i didn't even notice Purushottam tugging my arm and asking me to go inside.

"who is he?" i managed out in a whisper as he passed me without even sparing me a glance. 

"Oh, you mean Abhimanyu Jeeju? why, he is Sabita's husband of course!" he replied, pitying me  for my lack of information.

I saw Sabita trun back to look at me again, the same sad look in her eyes and i felt my heart wrench out in pain- so this was the man she had chosen over me?

but the pain over her betrayal was nothing. I was terrified of more pressing issues on my mind. For Abhimanyu was not just the husband of the girl i loved; he was a demon, a demon from my past, back to haunt me over the one incident that i still wasn't allowed to forget.

A plain visit to my in-laws was turning into more gruesome prospectives...

 

Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

oh here is my blog link Anunoy Ji- Verses from my heart

Great , superb twists given, just superb
Anunoy Samanta
from Bardhaman
12 years ago

we have been waiting for your getting in to our submarine since yesterday... good Tongue out

Kirti
Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

wohoo!! i am done!!

umesh derebail
from Mumbai
12 years ago

Nice twist to the story Kirti

Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
12 years ago

Awesome twist KirtiCool.

BTW Abhimanyu??Tongue out Here also?Tongue out

Leo
from Bengaluru
12 years ago

@Pooja P, Abhimanyu is Kirti ka future pati ka naam re :)  :D emotional attachment.

Leo
from Bengaluru
12 years ago

Just kidding :) Its her favorite name for a character. I think its nice. I also had a favorite character once.

Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
12 years ago

lolTongue out. I love the first descriptionWinkLaughingTongue out.

Arrey I knowTongue out. Just teasing herWink. Even I have fav CharacterSealed

Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

@Pooja he he... i couldnt RESIST yaar :P :P

@Leo i just wish :P :P and just 'nice'?? :( i think you meant 'awesome' :P :P

Leo
Leo
from Bengaluru
12 years ago
i take baton from kirtii :-)
Leo , suspense is killing, jaldi thoda
Animesh
from Mumbai
12 years ago

P, did you see your piece on SIP?

I tried at night but didn't see, now I am chking
Supe A,
Leo, haiku likhne me kho Gaye kya
Arvind Passey
Arvind Passey
from Delhi
12 years ago

When can I step in please?

Animesh
from Mumbai
12 years ago

Whenevr baton is free. Right now Its with Leo. Whenever he posts his story, you can pick it up if no one else has picked up.

Leo
Leo
from Bengaluru
12 years ago

When I go to the terrace of the haveli, it is empty but for a servant girl, who puts down the bucket, and giving me a warm smile, goes downstairs. She doesn't notice the glass in my hand, or the small bulge in my shirt where I've hidden the bottle of scotch. "What if she'd seen and told Madhumita?" I think. That was a close escape.The grandeur of the haveli hits me then. Marble floors, even on the terrace. "Well off people, no wonder Sabita had come to my college." I think. And in the spring breeze, my mind drifts back to those old days again.We used to be the darling couple of the college. Sabita and I. Everyone would tease us, at how united we were, even when rumors used to be circulated that I was seeing someone else, or that she was. There was an uproar in the college when, in our final year, the principal had caught us kissing in the girl's washroom, and we had defied him too and kissed again in his office. Professor Mathur, our principal, would have yearned to suspend me from college that day, but he didn't dare suspend the son of a most influential politician who had been charitable to the college.When one of my best friends had patted her on her bum, he had left college that day with a broken nose. And no one had dared to circulate rumors or touch her lewdly after that. No one flirted with her. But it changed when on the first day of our final year, a guy one year our junior sent her a card saying she was beautiful. And after that, each day, she'd get a rose and a card. No one knew who he was, and no amount of ragging would get the secret out. She told me not to bother, that it didn't change her love for me. That we'd always be together. And I believed her.On the day of our graduation, a handsome guy was the host of the party which the juniors threw for us. He looked dashing, and he was someone any girl would have a crush on, fall in love with. Even Sabita's soul sisters would tell me how lucky I was that she loved me so much, or else she'd definitely fall in love with him. Oh how I hated them for that. "As our seniors say goodbye to this college, I would like to say them good luck on their journeys ahead. And a special goodbye to the girl I've had a rosy affair with, Sabita," he announced, to my shock.Abhimanyu... my nemesis. "Jeeju, aap phir pee rahe ho"My thoughts are jerked back to the present by the voice of my favorite sister-in-law. Madhumita is looking at me with anger, but not surprise. I shrug off the glance awkwardly, as she comes to the parapet and stands with me."Tell me more about Abhimanyu. How come Sabita married him?" I ask her."Sabita? You are too drunk today, Jeeju.. Sabita aapke patni hai.. bhool gaye?" she asks, in mock shock and anger. "Oh haan. Aaj zyaada fit hoon shayad. I didn't hear properly, and I panicked too. Can you believe?" I tell her sheepishly. She laughs."Abhimanyu jeeju is SAVITA didi's husband. He also was in your college na? I think even she didn't know who he was till last year, when she saw him with Savita didi, at the time you both got 'officially' married here." she says."Oh. Who is he?" I ask. Perhaps, the trip isn't going that badly after all."He is the son of the Thakur here. The village head. They're the second richest family here, after us. Even his brother studied in your college.""Really? What is his name?" I ask, curiosity increased."Woh to ab raha nahi. Aatmhatya kar diya tha. Raj naam tha. Raj Narain. Jaante the aap unko?"

Leo
from Bengaluru
12 years ago

SORRY. FORMATTING CAME OUT TERRIBLE FrownCry HAVE REPOSTED.

Leo
Leo
from Bengaluru
12 years ago

When I go to the terrace of the haveli, it is empty but for a servant girl, who puts down the bucket, and giving me a warm smile, goes downstairs. She doesn't notice the glass in my hand, or the small bulge in my shirt where I've hidden the bottle of scotch. "What if she'd seen and told Madhumita?" I think. That was a close escape.

 

The grandeur of the haveli hits me then. Marble floors, even on the terrace. "Well off people, no wonder Sabita had come to my college." I think.

 

And in the spring breeze, my mind drifts back to those old days again.We used to be the darling couple of the college. Sabita and I. Everyone would tease us, at how united we were, even when rumors used to be circulated that I was seeing someone else, or that she was. There was an uproar in the college when, in our final year, the principal had caught us kissing in the girl's washroom, and we had defied him too and kissed again in his office. Professor Mathur, our principal, would have yearned to suspend me from college that day, but he didn't dare suspend the son of a most influential politician who had been charitable to the college.

 

When one of my best friends had patted her on her bum, he had left college that day with a broken nose. And no one had dared to circulate rumors or touch her lewdly after that. No one flirted with her. But it changed when on the first day of our final year, a guy one year our junior sent her a card saying she was beautiful. And after that, each day, she'd get a rose and a card. No one knew who he was, and no amount of ragging would get the secret out. She told me not to bother, that it didn't change her love for me. That we'd always be together. And I believed her.

 

On the day of our graduation, a handsome guy was the host of the party which the juniors threw for us. He looked dashing, and he was someone any girl would have a crush on, fall in love with. Even Sabita's soul sisters would tell me how lucky I was that she loved me so much, or else she'd definitely fall in love with him. Oh how I hated them for that. "As our seniors say goodbye to this college, I would like to say them good luck on their journeys ahead. And a special goodbye to the girl I've had a rosy affair with, Sabita," he announced, to my shock.

 

Abhimanyu... my nemesis. 

 

"Jeeju, aap phir pee rahe ho"

 

My thoughts are jerked back to the present by the voice of my favorite sister-in-law. Madhumita is looking at me with anger, but not surprise. I shrug off the glance awkwardly, as she comes to the parapet and stands with me.

 

"Tell me more about Abhimanyu. How come Sabita married him?" I ask her.

 

"Sabita? You are too drunk today, Jeeju.. Sabita aapke patni hai.. bhool gaye?" she asks, in mock shock and anger. 

 

"Oh haan. Aaj zyaada fit hoon shayad. I didn't hear properly, and I panicked too. Can you believe?" I tell her sheepishly. She laughs.

 

"Abhimanyu jeeju is SAVITA didi's husband. He also was in your college na? I think even she didn't know who he was till last year, when she saw him with Savita didi, at the time you both got 'officially' married here." she says.

 

"Oh. Who is he?" I ask. Perhaps, the trip isn't going that badly after all.

 

"He is the son of the Thakur here. The village head. They're the second richest family here, after us. Even his brother studied in your college."

 

"Really? What is his name?" I ask, curiosity increased.

 

"Woh to ab raha nahi. Aatmhatya kar diya tha. Raj naam tha. Raj Narain. Jaante the aap unko?"

Anunoy Samanta
from Bardhaman
12 years ago

good going bro Smile

TF Carthick
TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

Great job, Leo. You have tied up lot of loose ends? Whose next?

Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

AWESOME Leo!!!!!!!  :) :) :P

I take the baton from leo
Pooja Pradeep
Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
12 years ago

Can I take up the Baton after PL JHI please???Frown

Leo
from Bengaluru
12 years ago

No advance reservations :P if ur around when he finishes, u can take ;)

Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
12 years ago

lolTongue outkkTongue out

Mere mention of Raj narain sent shivers down my spine, as if somebody had hit a strong blow on my head with a hammer. Ohh.., what the heck. I got up, fully wet with sweat. I glanced at my watch, it showed 8 A.M. Startled I swung into action. My best Langotia friend (Palchan) alias palchu was to land Here at Mandapur from Pune. I had completely forgotten of him. Though he had the address but there should have been someone from my side to pick him. I couldn't remember any bloody thing, leave alone the dog licking me or  the mention of Raj narain or Abhimanue or Sabita. A reality or dream, And now, Palcchu, God only knows what was happening with him. He was coming here the first time. He had specially demanded that atleast 10 saaliyan, with garlands at the station to escort him home, only then he would come, and I had bluntly agreed to all his demands, and look, where I stood. Not even a single govinda too, to bring him. I hollered," Purshottam "at top of my lungs. Purshottam came rushing out of the shower, half in soap, water dripping, in his underwear. " kaa Bhail, Paahun" ( what happened ). Just as I was to say something, there were loud hefty bangs at the door. I along with Purshottam rushed to open the door. I was startled to see the scene. There stood Palchu, draped head to toe in blackish dump, surrounded by local guys..........,...,
Animesh
from Mumbai
12 years ago

Superb:)

Who's next?

TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

Good one, PL. Releasing the tension. Let us see who takes it up next.

TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

Pooja?

TF Carthick
from Bangalore
12 years ago

Arvind Passey?

Anunoy Samanta
from Bardhaman
12 years ago

aur kya hulchaal hai ji Tongue out

Thanks, the fool, haal chaal bhaalo anunoy da
Anunoy Samanta
Anunoy Samanta
from Bardhaman
12 years ago

great work friends!!! you guys are really all fountain pens Tongue out

AS A GOOD THREAD-KEEPER I UPDATED THE STORY.......... Wink

Animesh your idea is really good... but here're some difficulties which I'll try to explain:-

1)if you want multiple people to write its ending then offcourse who won't want that chance?... and voting will also not be impartial as I don't think a large number of people can be involved in a short time (afteral itz not an indivine contest my bro)... so i would request to let it run as per previous plans... moreover updating plans in the middle gives birth to micro fish market scenario Tongue out.... so please....

2)making a .pdf is undoubtedly a good idea but it should accompany or be an alternate to our main blogpost to the whole story, ie it shouldnt replace the idea of posting our story as blogpost in classical manner.

3)Thinking about some charity is indeed noble but not practical at present scenario buddy... just think how many times we have contributed a dollar to those websites from where we download plenty of songs mp3 or free softwares (even though they always keep an open donation box for us Frown).... so I support Fool's statement.... just leave the d/l link for free... then also you won't find much people downloading it... i think readers would like to read it directly from our blogs...

4)you're going great Wink

Animesh
from Mumbai
12 years ago
  1. Agree
  2. Agree
  3. Agree
  4. ThanksCool
I think, anunoy should compliment with the ending, and all other desired endings can be written as epilogue, of fans .
Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

yeah this would be the best think PL. 

i read a Jeffrey archer once like this. after a part of the story it was like- read whichever ending you want to and there were options like- rare, normal, etc etc.

we can do the same. just give the tagline- read whichever ending you want to and then give the names of all authors as options. ppl will read whatever they want to. what say???

Animesh
from Mumbai
12 years ago

OK. Done. While pubishing, Anunoy's ending will be given as an ending according to the flow. Rest all endings will be categorised as per blogger's name and their genre.

I will make PDF accordingly

Kirti
from Kharagpur, west bengal
12 years ago

cool! that sounds great. hope i get to take the baton again :)

oh and btw, my mom loves the story too!! :P

Animesh
from Mumbai
12 years ago

Now that's a great news. Give our regards to her and ask her to give us blessings for the book Smile

Yes, kirti, tell her palchan baabu, aar damaad baabu, DUI Jon aashirbaad cheye Chen.
Anunoy Samanta
from Bardhaman
12 years ago

things are going much better than i anticipated... all credit to you guys!!!

run run... don't stop in the middle............ the old man is silently keeping a watch on your hurrying shoes Tongue out

Pooja Pradeep
Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
12 years ago

I want to takeCry

Animesh
from Mumbai
12 years ago

OK take it. I give the baton back. I am a bit busy at office and don't think would be able to complete in 4 hours

Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
12 years ago

Thanks AniLaughing


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